from my gypsy heart...

struggles

2009-11-02T18:44:00.000-08:00

Coming up against people whose perception is significantly different than my own is hard for me. Trying to remain professional in times that call for it is hard when I'm being called terrible names and treated like an inferior species.
Being able to process with a terrific team leader and a loving fiance helps. Having people open up my blinders to new ways of seeing things helps a lot.

Living is tough. Especially when you have no community.
I'm thankful I do.

blessings

hmm...

2009-10-22T21:28:00.000-07:00

When I take care of me, it's easier to take care of you.
When I aid in filling myself up, I can help you be full too.
When I take care of me, I'm better at wanting to take care of you.

Such basic thoughts. But wow do they ever become a reality when living in a relationship.

blessings,
k

Self-Care

2009-10-19T11:38:00.000-07:00

I'm reminded more and more about how important it is to take care of myself.
I'm responsible for me, and if 'me' isn't doing all that well, one of the first things to ask is,

'when was the last time i did something that rejuvenates me?'

So tonight, I think I will set aside some time to do some journalling. Just for me. And I'm going to listen to whatever music I want, no matter how silly, because I'll be the only one listening. And I'll write whatever I want, because I'm the only one who is going to be reading it!

What have you done for yourself lately?

blessings

Thankful for the family and the farm animals

2009-10-13T14:24:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving was phenomenal!! The farm was beautiful, and Kody's family is lovely. Absolutely lovely. It was heart warming to be in a small town again.. oh how I love it so! I can't wait for a few years to pass and the time comes for us to relocate somewhere smaller!

sigh

Anyway, we had a great day taking pics at the farm and here's some of the fun:

We also had some unbelievable food and some huge laughs!

blessings
k

Thanksgiving

2009-10-08T21:14:00.000-07:00

My family's tradition on Canadian Thanksgiving is to go around the table, before anyone eats, and say one thing we're thankful for.

This year, the thing I'm most thankful for is Kody. The man who has swept me off my feet!

Love you beb :P

What are YOU thankful for?

blessings

Sex Trafficking

2009-10-01T13:27:00.001-07:00

Powerfully intense PSA about sex trafficking.

emotional.
disturbing.
gut wrenching.
disgusting.

If this PSA makes us feel any of those things, we should do something about it. Don't you think?

k

get out of BED!

2009-10-01T08:02:00.000-07:00

So I woke up this morning with every intention of going to the other room and "spending some time with God". (I put it in quotations because really, when are we NOT with God? You know?) However, my alarm went off and I just couldn't bring myself to get out of bed.

So I determined to at the very least, be productive, and pray!

Yes, I fell in and out of consciousness a few times, but I prayed for an hour, and for so many people. And I eventually DID get up and I wrote in my journal... for only about 5 minutes, but still! :)

With all of your prayers, and with at least SOME intentionality about being quiet with God, suddenly I'm SO ENERGIZED for the day! Smiling, laughing, and ready to take on the world!

I love that.
I love LIFE!

blessings!!!

post post post

2009-09-30T18:09:00.000-07:00

OK, so the 'this weekend' post didn't quite happen.
Oh well...

And frankly, as I sit here, my mind is drawing a blank.

You know what? I got nothing. I need everything. Aren't we so like little children most of the time in our lives? I need, I want, gimme. I ask so much of God especially, and He has yet to let me down. No, it hardly ever looks the way I expect it to, but it's always perfect. Capital 'P' Perfect.

So now I come to you. I'm inundated. I'm in over my head and I really don't know how to get out. So I'm asking for your help.

It's too much and too personal to divulge all the logistics.

Here's the basics:

sickness
homelessness
exhaustion
responsibility

I need your help friends. I need you. I miss you. I love you so much. I think of you often. And I intercede for you, especially in these feelings of overwhelmation, (love you melmel) as it's in those times I can do nothing short of love and support others.

I realize that doesn't make logical sense, but most things of God don't make sense to us, don't you think?

blessings
pooped blessings
but blessings nonetheless!

k

ps. I'm ok. I'm living and laughing one day at a time. ;)

this weekend

2009-09-24T07:19:00.000-07:00

There's a post coming this weekend...
Lots going on.. in life and in my seemingly-overworked-mind.

Talk soon
kristen

family

2009-09-12T11:47:00.000-07:00

Family is a tricky thing, isn't it?

How do I be me and keep the path smooth so as to be able to walk on it for years to come?

How do we communicate with the people we love, in all honesty, and move forward without pain? grudge? hurt?

I'm incredibly blessed with a family who listens, but not everyone is. Communication is tricky. With family, it's even trickier.

Speak with love and truth. That's the best I've come up with so far. And you know, it always seems to work in the end.

be blessed

the pictures scroll...

2009-09-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

As I write out my case notes for work - after every meeting/conversation I have with a client, I have to document the whole thing by hand - my computer begins to scroll through my slideshow and I lose myself in the memories. Tears even come to my eyes upon certain faces and moments. What a gift, this life.

If ever I find myself complaining, I must go back to my slideshow and remember the multitude of blessings that make up this incredible journey I've been on so far.

LOOK HERE

Click on that and you'll see a piece of what I mean.

What's on your slideshow?

a walk, some dreams, and ka-pow!

2009-08-30T15:22:00.000-07:00

So the plan today was a leisurely walk through Princess Island Park, a drink at a spot we're hopeful to do the wedding at, then home for a rest.
The Park was full of duck pictures and laughter. And some Latino sounds as they set up for a festival later today.
The 'drink spot' turned out to be closed. So then, we went to the place I really had my heart set on and sure enough, they were open. And we even got to talk to a manager. For whatever reason, they didn't seem excited about having minors on the premises - even tho they have the license for it. However, my fiance assured me and we were hopeful. We planned, dreamed, took pictures and had a lovely time.
We got home and my love decided to take a nap post-lunch. So I've popped onto my computer to catch up on the latest. There was an email waiting for me. Two lines. They began with 'unfortunately...'. So that's that? The place I've ALWAYS said I would have my reception just closed the doors and didn't even negotiate with me?!
KA-POW

Kiss that dream good-bye.

:(

life these days

2009-08-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

Well I have been unbelievably delinquent in writing for the last few months and I deeply apologize.
Things have been madness.
The last you heard, I had gotten a job.
Since then, I've also been to Alaska on a cruise, been proposed to, said YES, and turned 30!! ;)
That's right, I'm getting married to a man that has taken me by surprise.
He brings joy and growth to my life in spades and I'm forever grateful. He treats me like a princess.. a princess who is confident and capable of doing things for herself as well as receiving from others. ;)
In any case, I'm adamant about blogging more and putting my heart to words - if for no one than for myself.
So look for more blogs if you dare.
blessings,
k

Aspen

2009-06-09T19:48:00.000-07:00

Helping people create better lives for 25 years.

I GOT THE JOB!!!

I'll be a support worker in the Youth Transitions to Adulthood Program.
Thanks for all the prayers and support. This is a great organization, and incredible program. I'm blessed to have the opportunity to be apart of it for any length of time.

I'll let you know how things are going soon. I start on Monday!!

blessings,
kristen

the latest and greatest

2009-06-07T12:38:00.000-07:00

So I've COMPLETELY neglected in updating you about the latest.

I'm here, in Calgary, getting settled in my new home. The Owens-Young household has been of the most welcoming kind and I love staying with them. I am becoming a part of the family with each passing day and I love it.

I'm also able to spend far more time with the new man in my life than I ever imagined! And I'm loving that too! :) His family has been incredibly gracious and hospitable. Thank you!!

Lastly, I have an exciting opportunity before me. I have a job interview with "Aspen" in Calgary tomorrow morning. Click here to check out the program I'd be a support worker for!
I'll keep you posted as to how that goes.

talk soon
many blessings
kristen

oh how plans change...

2009-05-07T20:16:00.000-07:00

the BIG news!!

In case you haven't been following along:
Since I returned from South Africa in December, I've been working towards getting back there. The original plan was to be back by the end of April . . .

Clearly that hasn't happened.

I talked with Kevin, the minister in SA, and he told me I needed to wait. It seems the timing is off.
So no, I'm not headed to SA anytime soon.

For those of you who blessed me with your financial support - that will remain in a high interest earning savings account - as we're both certain I will get there within the next couple years. He's confident that I'm meant to be there when the church is ready to be opened. The hope is that I will assist with getting a lot of the programs up and running, and of course, work with all the lead worshippers in making some beautiful music!

Those of you who asked for a prayer card to be mailed to you, I will hold on to them until the time is right for you to be reminded to pray for me IN South Africa!! :)

Therefore... MORE BIG news:

I'm headed back out West, for an indeterminate amount of time. I've desired to settle there for some time now, and it seems the Lord sees fit to have me begin that process now. (Yes, you just 'heard' Kristen McMullen use the word settle...)
I'll keep you posted on those details through my blog (and emails if you wish).

For now, I'm packing up Calvin (my car) and heading out of Ontario on Saturday May 16th.

I finally have a cell number again: msg me if you want it!
HOWEVER, the day I arrive in Alberta it will be changed to an Alberta number. So.. maybe don't put it in your contacts lists just yet.
(If you want to call and catch up, after 9pm or the weekend would be best for me! ;)

There it is.
I'm infinitely blessed to have your support and I thank you for sticking with me through all of this.
I'd ask now that you pray for:

- my heart - I'm reeling from the fastest U-turn of my life and there's a lot more change headed my way.
- the details - moving to another province, my summer clothes are all in SA, etc.
- Kevin and the church in SA - that God's hand would remain over that whole process and we would be able to honour Him as we move forward.

Innumerable THANK YOU's to you.. I'm blessed to call you friend.. to call you family.

Get back to me!
Would love to talk!!

much love
many blessings

kristen

www.kristenmcmullen.com

moving onward to South Africa

2009-05-01T10:11:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon family and friends!!
Just a quick note.

I'm still in preparation to get my butt back to South Africa. Getting the paper-work together so I can send off the VISA application is taking far longer than I anticipated. However, in light of the waiting, I've had the opportunity to travel around IL and MI doing some visiting. And I also just returned from my beloved Rocky Mountains and my loves in the West.
The crunch is on now however, and many phone calls are being made!

When I return to South Africa, I'll be working with a minister who is starting a church. For the first chunk of time - up until Christmas - I'll be volunteering with a church and mostly helping with their Worship and Youth Programs.

I'll be mailing out prayer cards (a postcard sized reminder to pray for me and South Africa) this next week and need your address!
If you're interested in receiving one, please reply and give me your snail-mail.

I won't be sending out many updates via email, so please keep an eye on my blog for the latest news.

HOWEVER, if you'd like to be on my PRAYER TEAM and be ready for specific requests, please email me back and let me know.
I'm hopeful for a team of about 10 people who are committed to lifting me and my ministry up in prayer weekly and also pray for specific requests.

Looking forward to hearing what's new in your life!!
much love
many blessings

kristen

www.kristenmcmullen.com

I want...

2009-04-13T12:36:00.000-07:00

It's taken 29 years to get here, but today I cried out to God and allowed myself to dream of the things I desire for myself.

The thing I've known without doubt for the last 10 years?
I want to worship, honor and serve God with every facet of my life.

But knowing that caused me to let go of having any of my own desires.. I just wanted what God wanted.
Then I spiraled into confusion when it came to taking a step forward: which direction would I go? Because after all, I am the one who will have to take the step.

So here it is.. my desires, after God's own heart (I pray):

I want to be around high schoolers and college students who want to 'dig' into life.
I want to mentor and disciple young women in the ways of God.
I want to sing.
I want to be a part of a community that is journeying together through faith and life.
I want to be a wife.
I want to keep taking North American young people on missions trips.
I want to be able to visit 'my kids'.
I want to be a part of a home schooling network - as a mother or a teacher, or both.

In the short term, this is how I'm moving forward:

I want to go to SA and help my friend Kevin start his church.
I want to come back to Canada.
I want to live near the Rocky mountains.

It's hard for me even to write this, because it is so 'I' centered. But after much prayer, and a lifetime of joys and tears, I trust that the 'I' is not just me, it's me and my ancient and incredible God.
For now, it's one foot in front of the other. That's the best this little saint can do.
I love you Poppa.

Thanks for coming along for the ride.
I'm honored to call you friend.

blessings,
kristen

every now and again..

2009-04-12T16:42:00.001-07:00

Sometimes the sweetest things happen that warm up my insides.

Today, I went to Christian Center Church in Toronto for the Easter Sunday service. I haven't been for quite some time, but I used to help out with the youth and young adult programs there.
Upon arriving, late, an usher tried to help me find a friend.. but of course it was packed since Easter is the the Superbowl of holidays to Christians.

After about a minute, a most welcome and familiar face trotted up - it was Nicholas, the 7 year old son of the associate pastor. He wished me Happy Easter and we hugged. Then I asked him where his sister was. He proceeded to grab my hand and show me. I got an excited welcome from Abigail and thus began the antics. Who needs to sing worship when you can worship through play with young children?! lol
*sigh* I felt incredibly blessed and loved.

And lo and behold, I looked up, and there was my friend not two seats away.

This, was a most wonderful way to start my Easter.

blessings,
k

tear

2009-04-04T17:21:00.000-07:00

The thought of selling Calvin - my car for the last 8 years - has made me cry three times already.
Who knew I could become this attached to an inanimate object?!

sigh

a prayer

2009-03-29T20:56:00.001-07:00

What is, therefore, the task of the preacher (or the church) today?

Shall I answer: "Faith, hope and love"?

That sounds beautiful.

But I would say - courage.

No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth.

Our task today is recklessness.

For what we Christians lack is not psychology or literature,
we lack holy rage.

The recklessness that comes from the knowledge of God and humanity.

The ability to rage when justice lies prostate on the streets . . .

and when the lie rages across the face of the earth-
a holy anger about things wrong in this world.

To rage against the ravaging of God's earth,

and the destruction of God's world.

To rage when little children die of hunger,

when the tables of the rich are sagging with food.

To rage at the senseles killing of so many,

and the madness of militaries.

To rage at the lie that calls the threat of death and the strategy of destruction--Peace.

To rage against complancency.

To restlessly seek that recklessness that will challange and seek to change human history until it conforms with the norms of the Kingdom of God.

And remember the signs of the Christian Church have always been - the Lion, the Lamb, the Dove, and the fish . . .

but never the chameleon.

Kaj Munk (Danish Pastor)

some of this month

2009-03-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

So we're winding down to the end of March and I've had the most incredible month.

This last week was spent at Grand Valley State University with some new and old friends.

I've made a ridiculous amount of new friends, and a few of them seem to have taken permanent residence in my heart. So my world continues to expand. I'm inexplicably blessed.

The BIG story? I met Rob Bell and he said, no joke, while hugging me, 'I'd be your big brother any day!' HahaHAa.. He got pretty excited about what's coming my way in South Africa and it turns out he'll be on tour in SA while I'm there. So, you just never know.. maybe you'll read something on my blog one day about 'leading worship this week at My Church and guest speaker is Rob Bell from the USA.' Who knows. What I do know, is that life is good. This life of ours, it's the most beautiful gift. I'm cherishing it moment by moment these days.

bless you

kristen

my world

2009-03-11T10:57:00.000-07:00

The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to the idealised past. (Robertson Davies)

This quotation caught my attention today as, like many other days, I struggle with the concept of success equaling marriage, mortgage, family, retirement. Know what I mean? My culture and society tell me that this is what I need to achieve. But when I surrender myself to this thought, I literally start to itch! Something inside of me aches for more. Something inside of me defines success far differently than the world around me. Something inside of me craves a different path.
Is it alright if I dream something I deem as bigger than that? Something different?

My path seems chaotic to some, but to me, it's beautiful. In every way.

so much colour
community
laughter
growth (and the pain that comes along with it)
patterns and chaos mingling simultaneously
question marks and exclamation points
mountains and skateboard-park-style dips
furry trees
giggling flowerbeds
ravishing snowstorms and drenching rain
rainbows with 33 colours
sunshine that makes my skin smile
money to satisfy the needs
and money to bless
oversized comfy chairs
hammocks between the trees
tears and prayer
beach
mountains
humility
conversations with you
conversations with the Almighty
breath
fast pace and slow
children and grandparents
healing
sigh's
and smiles.

That's the world I live in. I mean.. doesn't it sound fantastic? I want to stay. Yes, I'm going to stay.

By the way, I love to cook.. and I love you.. so come over anytime!

blessings,
k

2009-02-26T18:10:00.000-08:00

I apologize profusely for not writing this last month.
I reverted to being a hermit for some time, and have only recently come out of that and into the glorious light of day!

In any case, I'm headed to Chicago tomorrow then back tracking my way back to Canada. I'll be gone for about a month visiting in Chicago, Grand Rapids, Kalamazoo, Spring Arbor and Grass Lake.

Drop me an email or a message on here and let me know how you are.
blessings,
kristen

my loves

2009-01-18T09:35:00.000-08:00

I miss you all terribly.
(And there's still so many more that I couldn't even fit...)

man oh man.
I've had the most incredible life. I'm honoured to have had so many amazing people walk with me for a time.

loves and hugs and prayers to you all