I want...

It's taken 29 years to get here, but today I cried out to God and allowed myself to dream of the things I desire for myself.

The thing I've known without doubt for the last 10 years?
I want to worship, honor and serve God with every facet of my life.

But knowing that caused me to let go of having any of my own desires.. I just wanted what God wanted.
Then I spiraled into confusion when it came to taking a step forward: which direction would I go? Because after all, I am the one who will have to take the step.


So here it is.. my desires, after God's own heart (I pray):

I want to be around high schoolers and college students who want to 'dig' into life.
I want to mentor and disciple young women in the ways of God.
I want to sing.
I want to be a part of a community that is journeying together through faith and life.
I want to be a wife.
I want to keep taking North American young people on missions trips.
I want to be able to visit 'my kids'.
I want to be a part of a home schooling network - as a mother or a teacher, or both.


In the short term, this is how I'm moving forward:

I want to go to SA and help my friend Kevin start his church.
I want to come back to Canada.
I want to live near the Rocky mountains.


It's hard for me even to write this, because it is so 'I' centered. But after much prayer, and a lifetime of joys and tears, I trust that the 'I' is not just me, it's me and my ancient and incredible God.
For now, it's one foot in front of the other. That's the best this little saint can do.
I love you Poppa.

Thanks for coming along for the ride.
I'm honored to call you friend.

blessings,
kristen

every now and again..

Sometimes the sweetest things happen that warm up my insides.

Today, I went to Christian Center Church in Toronto for the Easter Sunday service. I haven't been for quite some time, but I used to help out with the youth and young adult programs there.
Upon arriving, late, an usher tried to help me find a friend.. but of course it was packed since Easter is the the Superbowl of holidays to Christians.

After about a minute, a most welcome and familiar face trotted up - it was Nicholas, the 7 year old son of the associate pastor. He wished me Happy Easter and we hugged. Then I asked him where his sister was. He proceeded to grab my hand and show me. I got an excited welcome from Abigail and thus began the antics. Who needs to sing worship when you can worship through play with young children?! lol
*sigh* I felt incredibly blessed and loved.

And lo and behold, I looked up, and there was my friend not two seats away.

This, was a most wonderful way to start my Easter.

blessings,
k

*tear*

The thought of selling Calvin - my car for the last 8 years - has made me cry three times already.
Who knew I could become this attached to an inanimate object?!

sigh